Day 356
Listening to: Written All Over Your Face
Thought for the day: Keep Calm and Shed On

I have been thinking about opening up a toupee’ factory for fur challenged pooches. Pearl sheds about 1,000 pounds of hair a day; it could be a profitable business. Of course, then this happened (today’s photo). This is what came out of my vacuum. Holy balls of yarn! I should expand my vision! This ball of hair would make nice yarn. I could make Pearl girl sweaters! Not only would a Labrador sweater be warm, but it would also shed water. PLUS….. you could get a rug for your head to match.

All kidding aside………. Pearl is really showing her age. She’s not handling the heat at all. Even Christian is seeing it. She asked me earlier this week if we could stuff Pearl when she dies. I try not to think about it, but it’s difficult. It’s the moments I think of her dying that the crazy takes over and I really do consider saving a ball of hair like this one and making something out of it. I DIDN’T SAVE IT…….. but I did think about it.

Day 355
Listening to: Without Love
Thought for the day: Rented van $75, Trip with son to Grandma’s House $20, getting told I drive like an old woman – priceless.

If I ever wanted to know what I would look like with sideburns and goatee, all I needed to do today was look to my right (today’s photo). I spent today with my son, Wes. He’s like me in more ways than just appearance.

Though it looks like we hijacked a police cruiser and are living a mother-son version of Thelma and Louise, we’re actually on our way to my mom’s house in a rented U-Haul cargo van. My mom and step dad decided their fairly new Lay-Z-Boy chairs were not working for them, so they gave the chairs to Wes and his roommate. I helped him move the chairs to his rental house. Much to our surprise, my mom and step dad also gave Wes a John Deere lawnmower. It’s now official. Wes has a nicer lawnmower than I have EVER had. Then again, I’m a girl. I always buy what is cheap and not what is best when it comes to lawn equipment. Thanks Mom and Ron!

My favorite conversation with Wes today went like this:

Wes: You brake like an old woman.
Me: How’s that.
Wes: Well. You’re like braaaaaaaaaaaake pause pause brake pause brake brake pause brake.
Me: Great. Usually you’re complaining about my windshield wiper use.
Wes: I don’t even have windshield wipers on my car anymore.
Me: uggggh.

Day 354
Listening to:  Power of Love
Thought for the day: That’s what she said.

Today’s photo is of Kevin. Yes. He is reloading the freezer with Nutty Buddies. It’s no accident he’s one of my favorites. Kevin’s nickname is “Head.”  His nickname is “Head” because; well, look at that head. This is the second time for me to write about Kevin this week. I’d say I’m afraid he might get the big head, but well……..I can’t. Plus, I’d use “Head” in place of Kevin every time I talk about him, but it sounds dirty and there would be too many “that’s what she said” responses.   The #TWSS universe might implode. I’m serious here.

I snapped this shot of Kev during the mechanic’s break. The conversation was lively. Super Dave had stolen Big Jim’s strawberries. All hell had broken loose. I broke out some judgment on them and was promptly reminded I had one time smashed another mechanics pile of crackers in one fell swoop (thus earning me the title “cracker whacker” – #TWSS). The conversation quickly changed from food thievery and smashing to the woman who had an hour earlier jumped off the nearby Old Hickory Bridge. Kevin said if he decided to jump off a bridge he’d make sure to do something spectacular……….. like a cannonball or triple lindy with a half twist (he didn’t say that – I made it up – but he meant it).  Then Kevin started a story, “Oh man. One time I went off a high dive…………………………”  He quickly stopped. I was glued on him like a fly on a cheeseburger. Then he looked at me and emphatically said, “I’m not telling you this story because you’ll write about it.”  I said, “COME ON KEVIN!” He clammed up like an oyster making a pearl.

Kevin will probably never talk to me again, but this goes to show that I love the mechanics and will write about the humor anyway I can.   They SINCERELY should have their own reality show.  I’m so grateful for how much they make me laugh. It keeps me from wanting to jump off a bridge.

Day 353
Listening to: I Like That Old Time Rock and Roll
Thought for the day: The world is so fast that there are days when the person who says it can’t be done is interrupted by the person who is doing it.

This is the day the Lord hath made, and THANK GOD THAT MY KIDS ARE GROWN! Today’s photo is of a carnival that was set up for the employees of Fiberweb, the company next to the DuPont facility that pays my light bill. This property was originally owned by DuPont but DuPont couldn’t make it profitable. Fiberweb bought the property and business, moved in, made it work, and now they’re buying more of DuPont’s land………………. and celebrating BIG.

If my kids were young, I would have to avoid driving past this locale at all costs. First, they’d want to go. Second, they wouldn’t understand that it’s not open to the public. It’s a bit cruel to parents of young children living in the village who haphazardly drive past the facility not knowing. Bless all of you. I have experienced the “TAKE ME TO THAT CARNIVAL NOW!” tantrum. It is not pleasant

Day 352
Listening to: I Wear My Sunglasses at Night
Thought for the day: Be sweet and honest always, but for God’s sake don’t eat my doughnuts! ~Emma Bunton

Wednesday Night Dinner Club – Lockeland Table

Lockeland Table is a b-e-a-U-tiful restaurant tucked quietly away in the up and coming East Nashville area (tonight’s photo). The restaurant was a James Beard semi-finalist for best new restaurant (national big dang deal competition for restaurants). So what do I order? MARGHERITA PIZZA!! I’m not right in the head sometimes. I zeroed in on the “fresh pulled mozzarella” part of the margherita pizza description and the rest of the menu dissolved into a foreign language. I did redeem myself when it came time for dessert (today’s photo). Lockeland Table called these ricotta cheese jelly-filled doughnuts. My 100% Italian WNDC friend called them Zeppole (translation – Italian doughnut – go figure). I called this “My Childhood on a Plate.” Every Wednesday when I was a child my mom and I would go to my Granny Sally’s house. Often, we’d stop at the bakery on the way. I always got a jelly-filled doughnut. They were the best doughnuts to date in my doughnut memory bank and trust me I have experience. I have spent my entire adult life trying to find doughnuts that compare. Tonight I came close. Still not there, but this was close enough for me!

Sadly, Lockeland Table did not make the James Beard finalist cut. One Tennessee restaurant made the cut that I saw and I’ve never heard of it. It’s called The Barn at Blackberry Farm and it’s in Walland, TN (wherever that is). Sounds like the WNDC needs to take a road trip!

Day 351
Listening to: Fat Bottomed Girls
Thought for the day: Wile E. Coyote, Supergenius. I like the way it rolls out. Wile E. Coyote, Supergenius. ~Wile E. Coyote

Recently, coyotes have been spotted on my employer’s property in the area where I walk during my lunch period. How many people can say their employers provide a home for coyotes? You know me. I think it’s beyond cool, but I’ve promised our safety manager I won’t try to make friends with one. Statistics show they kill only 5 people per year. They are scared of humans for the most part, but the ones on my employer’s property have killed a deer.

Today, when I was on my lunch-time walk, Cliff and Kevin pulled up behind me in a company truck (today’s photo – Kevin is closest to the camera).

Cliff: Hey KB seen any coyotes?

Me: No.

Kevin: You know what to do if you see one right?

Me: No. I am going to Google it. What do I do?

Kevin: RUN!!! No. Wait. If you run, they’ll bite you in the ass. Seriously, you’re supposed to go at them like a half-crazed zombie (Kevin demonstrates his half-crazed zombie approach).

Cliff: They’ll only attack you if they have rabies. You know, like walkers (zombie coyotes – referencing The Walking Dead).

Me: You know they killed a deer right? I’m kind of similar to a deer so I should be scared.

Cliff: (laughing) KB! How are you similar to a deer?

Me: I’m, like, caught in the headlights all of the time.

Cliff: Oh! I thought you were going to tell me the deer around here wear Ray-Bans like yours.

I Googled coyote defense. The advice is to kick the coyote as hard as you can in the ribs while protecting your main arteries! Wile E. Coyote ain’t got a thing on me! MEEP MEEP.

Day 350
Listening to: What You Need
Thought for the day: I don’t care if you never win a race, you’ll always be my horse.

I could probably write a book about Tom. If you’ve been reading my daily entries, you know him. If you haven’t, he’s my salty curmudgeon-esque neighbor who is larger than life and has a voice that will travel 10 miles down the road. Life is not boring with him in my life.

Recently, while I was sitting on my porch, I saw Tom’s sister pull into his driveway. Tom lumbered out of the car and his sister followed. They were laughing a lot as she helped him into his house. Then she left. About five minutes later Tom came back outside, slammed his front door, and was stumbling all over the place. I immediately thought he was having a heart attack. I dropped what I was doing and ran over to his house. Here is what happened.

Me: Tom? Are you okay?

Tom: Child……… No……. I just locked my @##($*)(*%)(* keys in the house.

Like a weary Jolly Green Giant, he then plopped his large frame down into a nearby chair and started laughing (today’ photo).

Tom: I’ve been down to the Magaritavilles (Margaritaville) and Toots. Child. I’ve seen it on the TV, but I had no idea downtown Nashville was so much fun. I ain’t been down there in 20 years. My sister bought me this hat at Magaritavilles, but I’ve locked my #)($*)(*%)( keys in the house.

Me: Are you drunk?

Tom: OF COURSE I AM DRUNK! Hee hee hee. I only had 1………2……….let’s see………3……….Oh hell. Will you just break into my house and get my #$(*&%(*& keys?

He then instructed me on how to break into his house to get his keys. Operation “Retrieve Drunk Tom’s Keys” was a success.  I handed him the keys.

Tom: Thanks hon.

Me: Were you going to get in your truck and go somewhere? I think you need to stay put.

Tom: I think you’re right. Hey. I don’t care if you never win a race, you’ll always be my horse.

Former Tom Blogs:
http://jellyjumbles.com/?p=3750

http://jellyjumbles.com/?p=811

Day 349
Listening to: Cat’s In the Cradle
Thought for the day: People! The Santa Claus Easter Bunny of Mother’s Day visited me last night! I found what is in today’s photo on my doorstep this morning! Don’t stop believing!

When I was in the third grade, I stood on a stage with two other friends in a school assembly and belted out Cat’s In the Cradle without missing a word. The teachers were so impressed they asked the three of us to repeat our performance at the PTA meeting and we did. I had NO clue what that song was about at the time. NONE! I never thought that I’d be living the song someday. That day has come.

Starting on Friday, my kids and I started playing schedule roulette trying to figure out a time we could all get together. They were both scheduled to work all weekend and nothing seemed to work. Finally, I told my daughter that we’d wait until our schedules were more compatible. After all, I’m a mother 365 days out of the year and not just on one day. The fact they even wanted to try to schedule something was a big enough gift for me. Of course, then the Tootsie Rolls showed up. SCORE!

Day 348
Listening to: Whosoever Meaneth Me
Thought for the day: We exist to help those who cannot help themselves. ~POW motto

My hero, Red Dean, died today. He was 93 and very ill. To mourn his loss would be selfish. I am selfish and I will mourn. To say I’ll miss him is an understatement.

Back in 2003, I was given the directive to renovate the Old Hickory Veterans Memorial Park. I did not choose this directive. It was given to me by a very high-ranking member of DuPont management who also gave me a $500 personal check to begin the fundraising process. Though not mandatory or required for me to keep my job, I couldn’t say no. I’ve never served in the military. I had never had any direct connection to anyone who had seen combat, yet, there I was…………suddenly in charge of a veteran’s park. I kept thinking, “What are you doing? You have young children. You have no business accepting this directive.” Then I got to know Red Dean, a WWII and POW veteran. Everything changed.

The very first Memorial Day ceremony in the renovated park was in 2005. I asked Red to say the invocation. I had just been dumped by a guy I was dating and was an emotional wreck. I walked into the ceremony numb. Then, Red got up to say the invocation. About 1/4th of his prayer was about me and how grateful he was for me. I started to cry. No one, to my knowledge, had ever prayed for me (I’m sure they had – I just never knew it). Yet, here was a WWII hero praying for ME. I fell in love with Red in that moment. We’ve had 7 Memorial Day ceremonies since then and every year Red prays for me publicly. I’m not sure how I will get through this Memorial Day without it…………….. but I will with him in mind.

Last February, I got to interview Red for a community project (today’s photo). The interview is fairly lengthy and can be found at http://www.oldhickorytales.org/index.php/6-red-dean. If you listen to only one segment, I encourage you to listen to his WWII experience, http://www.oldhickorytales.org/images/stories/Red/wwII.mp3

Day 347
Listening to: Material Girl
Thought for the day: “All I kept thinking about, over and over, was ‘You can’t live forever; you can’t live forever.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

I’m related to all of the people in this photo. If I hadn’t told you, you’d probably think the little boy on the right was my only kin (he’s sticking his tongue out in case you can’t see).

How many of you can tell me the names of all of your great grandfathers? I could only name one before this week. Now I can name two. I saw this photo for the first time this week. I am now on a quest to identify the other two. When my cousin Betsy Strader emailed this photo to me, I couldn’t stop staring at it. He is me. I am him. Let me introduce you. The very handsome man sitting in the car is William Towney Robinson. He died when he was 31. The thought of such a short life leads me back to my thought of the day. Yes, he died young, but he lives on, forever, through ancestors like me. It’s now my duty to ensure he is not forgotten.