The Patriarch and the Iguana (my demented look at a chunk of 1957)

Recently, someone gave me a LIFE magazine from August, 1957.  The magazine was given to me because there is an article about DuPont in it.  After working for the company for 23 years, I have a tattoo of the DuPont logo on my ass (not really, but it feels like it).   Basically, this tattoo causes me to collect DuPont crap.   My office is a DuPont hoarder’s palace.

The magazine itself is a piece of art from start to finish.  The advertisements, however, are what really flipped my skirt and I knew immediately they must be shared.

Before I get to the adverts………
There are, obviously,  numerous photos of the DuPont family in this LIFE issue, but this one is my favorite.

Irenee Du Pont, 80, patriarch of the Du Pont family, bends to pat an iguana on his Cuban estate.   (Note: Du Pont is now DuPont….. with no space)

If today’s big-shot CEOs took time to pat their iguanas on a daily basis, the world might be a more respectable and viable place.  Read into that what ya want.

ADVERT #1

Wool Industry goes back to school

I like to call this advert, “What Is a Sagging?”  Can you imagine asking these kids what “sagging” means?   Currently, there is legislation being debated in the Tennessee legislature to ban sagging pants on government property (as if this state has no other pressing issues).    I would feel much more at ease if I encountered a group of kids “sagging” than I would encountering the kids in this advertisement.  STEPFORD KIDS……….they’ll stab you in your sleep!!!

ADVERT #2

Blue Bell Clothing

This advert demonstrates the opposite of sagging.   Waist bands that risk chaffing your arm pits are a serious safety hazard.  They should also be banned  Where’s THAT legislation?

ADVERT #3

BABY GOT BACK!  Good thing there was not a typo causing the ad to say, “Your chubby ass….”  There are so many things wrong with the word chubbette that I don’t even need to write about it.  You go there.

ADVERT #4

Royal Typewriters

Our days are numbered before the newer generations ask, “What is a typewriter?   Of course if a Royal typewriter could truly raise your grades 38%, the typewriter might experience a renaissance. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap….. DING.

ADVERT #5

Pontiac Star Chief Custom Four-Door Catalina (as if I know what that means…pfffft).

I don’t know about you, but having a backseat “built like a bed” (look at #3)  is probably a good idea if you’re a man riding around with this woman…….. sans the dog.  JUST SAYIN’.

PERVERT……I mean…….ADVERT #6

Cadillac

No man is a stranger who has access to chloroform or rohypnol and sits behind the wheel of a Cadillac!  BTW…. I had to Google the date rape drug to find out the name, so if someone gets blamed for date raping Liam Neeson…………..

ADVERT #7 (an article, but am including it anyway because it is worthy)

No magnetic tape is “keeping my house” currently.  WEEP.   Epic fail LIFE magazine!   E for effort, however, and thank you for giving me fodder for a blog.   It’s too bad there is not a use for using magnetic tape to hold up sagging pants.

ADVERT #8

HEY!  These guys are sagging while peddling Colgate!  WIN……. and with a price like that………WIN WIN.

ADVERT #9

This advert is for a jingle-writing contest for Tweed.  The rules are to finish the following jingle by adding a fourth line with a word that rhymes with night.

When a fragrance is perfectly right –
you can wear it both morning and night.
All products marked Tweed are just what you need-
(enter your fourth line to win big prizes)

My entry would probably be

to improve the sagging pants blight

What would yours be?

 

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