The Day I Became a Fire Hazard

Day 213
Listening to: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Thought for the day: If… you can’t believe, if you can’t accept anything on faith, then you’re doomed for a life dominated by doubt. ~Kris Kringle – Miracle on 34th Street

When I was younger, I absolutely hated my glasses. My glasses were huge. It’s a wonder I didn’t set small fires everywhere I went via the light refraction through the giant lenses. I often devised ways to destroy them. Once I ran over them with a sled. They were like Teflon. Destruction was futile. By the time I reached the ninth grade, I started hoarding my lunch money so I could buy contact lenses. At the end of that year, I ditched the glasses and never looked back.

As the years progressed, my attitude toward my glasses changed. With the advent of thinner lenses, I no longer thought them hideous. Recently, I cracked one of the lenses on my glasses (they don’t make ‘em like they use to). It was time to buy a new pair. I made the mistake of going by myself. I thought what I had chosen was delicate and light. As you can see, that is not the case. Holy Nerdazoid! I’m back to being a fire hazard AND now that you’ve all seen me in these things I’m going to have to kill every one of you. Okay, not really. BUT, I am hereby making a request. Will someone PLEASE go with me the next time I have to buy glasses? I will never buy a pair again without a second opinion.

Add Comment Register

Leave a Reply