Listening to: Christmas Rappin’
Thought for the day: I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. ~Charles Dickens
The year? 1996. The occasion? This is the last time I saw my Grandmother alive and it was on Christmas Day. Normally, she hosted the family on Christmas Day night. Earlier in the year, however, she had experienced a stroke and the family gathering was cancelled. I went to see her anyway. I have been haunted by this visit ever since. I had a good visit with her, but she was extremely sad about the number of divorces/problems among my cousins and me. She felt like she had failed all of us and she laid her heart out to me. Her shoulders seemed to slump as she tried to absorb our burdens. I sat there speechless like a dumbass. I wish I could go back and relieve her of that burden. My Grandmother had always been a happy person and this was the first time I had really seen her sad. Why didn’t I tell her she was a hero to me? To be honest though, I don’t think I fully realized what a hero she was to me until recently. Despite the sadness I have from this memory, I am beyond grateful that I got to hug her one more time and tell her how much I loved her…………… and that makes me smile. She is one of the reasons I never give up on anything.