Eating With Caveman-Like Passion

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Today I ate lunch at the local Tex-Mex restaurant (Houston’s) The Most Interesting Man in the World with the mechanics and The Most Interesting Man in the World who graciously struck a pose with Kevin and Cliff (photo). For lunch, my boys ordered a boy-sized pile of hot wings and proceeded to eat them with the passion of cavemen. They say, “When in Rome, do like the Romans Do,” so I dove in like I hadn’t eaten in a week. The rapid fire of wing slinging elbows resulted in wing sauce being sprayed like machine gun fire on everyone in the room. In the end, all of us sported wing rings around our mouths. We were happy, but my face burned for two hours afterward.

Long after the fire on my face had been extinguished, I went to see Cliff. When I crossed the threshold of his office, I froze. He sat motionless staring at the wall with a blood-dotted tissue hanging out of his nose. The wings apparently had set fire to his sinuses. I immediately started laughing.

Cliff: Man! I’m embarrassed.
Me: Pfft. That’s not embarrassing! When I was a very young adult, my nose started bleeding one time while kissing a boyfriend.

Cliff: Was the boyfriend you were kissing nice about it or did he try to shove your face in a pillow to stop the bleeding?

Me: He was nice. I mean. What would you have done if your girlfriend’s nose started bleeding?

Cliff: As a young man? I wouldn’t have given a crap. I’d probably just said, “Here cram this tissue up your nose and take your clothes off.”

Men.

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